


Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

by thejokeristhethief



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad French, Breathplay, Collars, Dirty Talk, Halloween Costumes, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:04:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5119481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejokeristhethief/pseuds/thejokeristhethief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>North forgets it's Halloween and walks into an awkward situation involving costumes and his bedroom floor. Wash's attempt at French falls flat. And York just wants to be in the middle this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FinalSymphony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinalSymphony/gifts).



> Happy Halloween everyone. This one is for my dear friend FinalSymphony who requested costume smut. I hope you enjoy it XD

North isn’t quite sure what he just walked in on, to be entirely honest. He hesitates at the door, awkwardly taking in the scene before him. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was happening in his room, a room his feet automatically take him to when he’s lost in thought, wandering the MoI, he would think that he took a wrong turn somewhere. But no, that is definitely his floor. Which makes these two strangely dressed people his lovers. His quiet, uncomfortable cough is drown out by a low moan.

“Ohh god. Wash are those panties?” North can see York’s cock twitch from where he’s bent over their younger lover, his ass, left bare by the leather chaps he’s wearing, facing the door and on display for anyone who just happens to walk in. Obviously the brunette planned it in an attempt to get North tangled up in whatever strange happenings planned tonight. That thought alone has him stepping forward and punching home the lock. He’d hate to have his sister walk in on this; not only would South complain endlessly for weeks about being scarred for life, she’d also never let him live it down. He stalks quietly towards the two men tangled up on the floor, using York’s voice to drown out any noise he makes. “Fuck, your costume just keeps getting hotter. Collar, corset style mini dress, thigh high stockings, and lacy panties… are you trying to kill me? Because holy hell babe, that’s enough to give a man a heart attack. You’re lucky I found you before North did. The poor guy would have been a mess.”

“That’s one way to put it.” A satisfied smirk inches across his face when York jumps at his voice, head snapping around quickly enough that he wouldn’t be surprised if his lover got whiplash. The wide-eyed look he receives is almost comical. “Confused and mildly worried about your sanity is another way.”

Wash snorts, one of his freckled arms wrapping around York’s shoulder as leverage as his blonde head peaks over the locksmith’s other shoulder. North can’t help returning the bright smile he’s offered by the young man. Of course his lover, ever the one to take any opportunity to tease, chooses that moment to open his mouth. “Aww come on North, where’s your Halloween spirit? York here took the time to get dressed up all pretty like. Haven’t you ever heard the term ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’? He even comes with all the fun bits already exposed.”

“Ah, that he does.” Halloween. That explains everything. North lets his hand fall to York’s buttocks in a light spanking, making the man moan. “So, York’s a cowboy. What are you, Wash?”

“Bonjour, monsieur. Je suis une femme de ménage.” The words sound French but the way his lover says them is so off that the meaning goes right over his head. Wash offers him a cheeky wink before giggling at North’s confused face. “Aww come on North, you’re from one of those Northern European Earth countries… Norway or Denmark or something, right? So you should be familiar with French.”

“Sweden, actually. And is that what that was? Your accent and pronunciation are way off. Wanna try that again in English?” North has got to give him credit for trying, but that was probably the saddest attempt he’s heard in a long time. Wash huffs at him, a pout gracing his face when it becomes obvious that he really didn’t understand the freckled man’s garbled French. York snorts, eyes narrowing into a glare directed at him after their lover’s lower lip starts to tremble. The look tells him to try harder, so he takes another step forward and gets a better view. The sight that greets him is breathtaking. Literally. Choking, North tries to reintroduce oxygen to his lungs and his brain stutters to a stop before rebooting. The French his lover tried moments earlier clicks and he repeats it back in English. “Ah. Hello, sir. I am a maid. Got it. French Maid, very clever love. And incredibly sexy. York is right, I would have been a mess. In fact, I might be one right now. York, move over for a second so I can take in the full view. Don’t wanna miss out on an inch of that.”

“Oh, you definitely do not.” York complies with a grin, flopping onto the floor beside Wash. North takes a moment to appreciate the sight of the brunette’s erection and the way the leather clings to his hips and thighs, framing his crotch appetizingly. He’s definitely going to enjoy fucking York in those later. But right now he’d rather take in the sight of his youngest lover, loose limbed and spread out on the floor in a short, tight French Maid’s dress, complete with lace and a corset style bodice. Stockings cover his freckled legs up to mid thigh, leaving a few tantalizing inches of uncovered skin between their lacy tops and the more intricate lace hemming the skirt of the dress that just barely covers his lover’s crotch. North can just see a hint of the lace trimmed panties Wash is wearing from the angle he’s standing at; a flash of purple and gold taunting him from between his lover’s legs. He forces his eyes back up, trailing over the dress again, taking in the ribbing, the style, the _quality_ of the costume. His eyes inform him that the dress is, in fact, quite sturdily made, meaning he could probably give those laces a couple of good pulls and the eyelets won’t pop off or the material tear. He lets out a pleased hum at the thought, gaze traveling further upwards to take in the rest of the sight before pausing again at the collar. A smirk spreads across his face, one that could rival York’s best, as he finally takes in the flushed state of his young lover. Wash squirms for a moment, before meeting his eyes self consciously. North lets out a slow breath before sinking to his knees next to Wash.

“Mon Deiu. Tu es très belle, mon amour.” Wash moans quietly at the words as North cups his face before pulling him into a deep, slow kiss. The other blonde’s arms wrap tightly around his neck, holding him close before turning the kiss into something more frenzied and desperate. North groans into the kiss, letting Wash’s tongue sweep over the inside of his mouth before pushing back with his own, enjoying the minor battle for dominance that he eventually wins.

York moans longingly from the sidelines before North feels breath on the back of his neck and tongue trace his ear.“God I love it when you speak in other languages. Seriously, you could list off fruits and I’d probably get off to it. Hell, for all I know you could have just called Wash a pineapple. But it sounds so good. So fucking hot.”

North breaks his kiss with Wash, voice dropping into a dark purr against his younger lover’s lips as York nibbles and sucks down his neck. “Tu es trés doux… Je veux te manger, mon petite ananas. Et tu, York, tu n’es pas aussi lisse que tu penses que tu es. Mais, je t’adore.”

“Oh god, I have no clue what you just said but holy shit, take me now. Please, North.” York moans out his request against the dip of his clavicle, teeth and tongue worrying the sensitive skin there, marking him. Wash whimpers his agreement before pressing their lips back together and tugging North down on top of him. York follows them down, hands sliding his shirt up until his adept fingers find one of North’s nipples, rolling it to a stiff peak. “Wash, hold on for a sec. I know you want to keep kissing him, but North’s woefully overdressed for this party. No normal clothes allowed, remember?”

“Ah.” Wash pulls away reluctantly, fingers curling in the collar of his shirt to tug insistently. “Yes, of course. You are right York, those were definitely the rules. I’m afraid you’ll have to strip, monsieur.”

“Hmm… Tes désirs sont des ordres.” He utters the words softly and when Wash’s eyelids flutter and breath quickens again, North smiles softly. That smile quickly turns into a gasp when one of York’s hands shoots down his pants to palm his hard prick, pressing lightly before retreating. Helping his younger lover remove the shirt from his back distracts him enough that he almost doesn’t notice his other lover managing to get his belt and pants undone. That sinfully talented hand returns again, stroking him softly, as York’s other hand pushes down his pants and boxer-briefs. Moaning, North drops the French. “Oh god, York. Mmm fuck, more please.”

Twin chuckles greet his plea before Wash’s hands press hard against his shoulders and the freckled man rolls them gently so he’s on his back being straddled with York’s hand still in between them, stroking him slowly. “York called dibs on the middle this time. Which is, in my opinion, totally fair. Like I said earlier, I’ve always wanted to ride a cowboy.”

“Mmm, yes. That is a good plan. And I’ve wanted to fill up that deliciously bare ass of his since the moment I walked into the room, so the middle is exactly where he should be. But before that happens, I want to see what you’re wearing under that stunningly short dress, love.” North draws his hands up Wash’s legs slowly, sliding along the fabric of the stockings until they hit lace. His fingers dance along the tops of the thigh highs, tracing the lacy designs into his skin as his younger lover shudders above him. He moans when York tightens his grip, giving him a few hard strokes before releasing him. “Let’s see your panties, Wash. I’m sure York wants to as well. Go on, show us.”

Wash blushes, hands hesitantly gripping the hem of his dress before slowly raising it up until his underwear is completely visible. York moans, hands joining North’s in sliding up their lover’s legs until York’s hand is stroking over Wash’s covered ass at the same time he’s tracing the outline of his lover’s erection through the gold trimmed purple panties. York breathes out slowly. “Holy fuck, they’re perfect babe. So perfect and so hot. It’s a shame they have to come off.”

North hums in agreement before hooking a finger in the waistband of the clothing in question, tugging it down far enough to release Wash’s leaking cock. Using his thumb, he spread the precome around before stroking down the man’s shaft with a pressure he knows is just enough to drive him crazy. Sure enough, his freckled lover cries out, hips snapping forward in an attempt to get more friction. York’s teeth sink into his earlobe at the same time the brunette grips his collar, tugging lightly. He watches in fascination as Wash’s eyelids flutter closed again, a light flush traveling across his cheeks and highlighting his freckles when York’s words, whispered loud enough for North to just hear, register. “Are you going to be a good little servant and do exactly what we tell you? Are you going to let me fill you up and pound you until you’re completely fucked out and gaping? And then, after North and I have finished, are you going to clean us up, like a good little maid?”

“Yes! Oh god yes. I will, I will. Please. North, York, please just fuck me.” Wash wiggles in his lap, pushing his hand forward in the process, causing him to brush against his own erection. North moans, giving him one last pump before meeting York’s gaze and giving him a nod. In a flash the brunette is gathering the smaller blonde up, pulling him into his lap. North pushes himself upright, reaching forward to hook his fingers in the fabric of his younger lover’s panties again, tugging them down those freckled thighs and over the stockings before discarding them to the side. Wash yelps when York sinks his teeth into the meat of his freckled shoulder, the sharp pain unexpected but not unwelcome. “Ahh. A little warning next time, York.”

“York, no biting. Not right now.” North scolds, hands worshiping the skin of Wash’s thighs. He drops a soft kiss to the cluster of freckles on the man’s left hip, enjoying the way his lover moans and squirms before trailing a path of kisses over his thighs and hips, as high as he can go without rucking the dress up any further. The moans and curses falling from Wash’s lips are equal parts his and York’s fault, as the brunette is working his neck over, leaving bites and bruises along the edge of his collar. North can’t help grinning as he places one last kiss perilously close to his young lover’s member. “Alright. Enough of that. Wash, I want you to lay on top of York. Make out with him or something. I’m gonna stretch you both open.”

York moans, falling backwards onto the floor and spreading his legs as Wash adjusts his position, pressing himself flush against the brunette’s tanned chest. North pulls him back a little, making sure his lovers cocks line up so they can grind against each other a little as he preps them. Wash sighs happily, rocking his hips gently into York’s as he moves to the side table to collect the bottle of lube in there, hesitating briefly at the sight of the lime green vibrator before grabbing that too and returning to his previous spot between their legs. Popping the cap on the lube, he starts by lubing up two fingers, circling Wash’s hole gently before pressing in. The younger of his two lovers moans, hips pressing hard into those of the man underneath him as he pushes the digit in further, twisting and crooking it before pulling out and moving down to the lover below him. York’s sounds ring out into the room, only to be quickly and greedily consumed by their lover’s mouth as Wash kisses him hard. North grins to himself before pumping his finger in and out another few times. He adds the second, stretching his lover carefully. Once he’s satisfied the brunette is sufficiently prepped, he slicks the toy up, pressing it in gently until it's all the way in. York breaks away from Wash to whine in pure need. “Oh god North. Oh fuck. Turn it on. Please turn it on.”

Unable to resist the begging, he concedes, flicking the setting onto medium before returning to the younger and more neglected of his lovers. Pressing two fingers in, North begins fucking Wash with them, gently at first, but with increasing pressure. The smaller of his two lovers drops his head to York’s shoulder, panting as the locksmith’s fingers grip his back tightly, the other man moaning at the sensations of the vibrator. North reaches up to hook the fingers of his free hand in the laces of his lover’s corset, pulling them tighter slightly and restricting the man’s breathing further. Wash gasps before moaning loudly when North finds his prostate, tugging the laces still tighter. He makes sure to hit the same spot as he fucks his lover harder on his fingers, the man’s pants becoming shallower as his moans increase. He keeps going until Wash seems like he’s about to pass out or come, pulling his fingers out carefully and quickly loosening the laces when York gasps out a warning to him that they are reaching that point. Wash takes a huge gasping breath before shuddering with pleasure.

“Alright. I think you’re both quite prepared, don’t you?” North reaches over to shut the vibrator off, removing it carefully from York as the brunette strokes Wash’s back steadily. Once the toy is out, North reaches out to collect Wash to his chest, scooping his freckled lover up and pressing a couple kisses to his cheek. The last kiss catches his lips when the man turns his head, pressing his hand to North’s cheek before deepening the chaste press of lips into something more passionate. When they break apart York has already scrambled to his feet. Depositing his smaller lover on the bed, he crawls towards the top of the bed, propping himself up on pillows. “York, come here and get yourself situated.”

“Mmm, yes sir.” York shuffles up the bed before settling into his lap. Taking a deep breath, the brunette raises himself up, gripping his length and sinking slowly onto it until he’s fully seated. North waits until the man in his lap seems comfortable before beckoning to Wash. York moans softly at the motion before his gaze meets that of the freckled man’s. “Your turn babe. I want you facing us please. It’ll make it easier.”

“Mmm, good. I want to be able to see the faces the two of you make.” Wash’s comment is said so innocently as he tosses a leg over York’s lap with a careless grace that North would never even attempt to imitate. He watches, entranced, as the young man slides down their lover’s shaft with a long moan. “Oh god. York, you always feel so fucking amazing. You can move me. Please move now. Fuck me hard, OK?”

He matches York’s moan at those words, hands sliding down his lover’s bare sides as the man prepares to move. The brunette grips Wash’s hips tightly, pushing against the mattress to raise himself off of North’s cock as he bounces Wash on his own, the younger man helping as well by lifting his hips. North slides his hands down in an attempt to help York support the weight, when he’s almost full unsheathed, he pulls the brunette down, slamming up into him at the same time. It takes some maneuvering, some trial and error, before they manage to find a method and pace that works. He moans at the tight heat around him and the sound of his two lovers making out as they fuck. After what feels like an exhausting eternity but is probably only a few minutes, North decides that, although this position is without a doubt hot, he’s far too aroused and impatient to continue with this painstakingly slow pace. Reaching up, he covers his middle lover’s tanned hands with his own, gripping Wash’s hips firmly before pushing off the mattress the next time York thrusts up, flipping them efficiently as Wash squeaks in shock. “Sorry love. I know you wanted to ‘ride a cowboy’ but we weren’t moving fast enough for me.”

“Mmm, no no I agree. Just caught me off guard.” Wash leans passed York, a move that screams ‘kiss me’. So he obliges, catching the other man’s already kiss-plumped lips in a fierce kiss as thrust hard into the brunette below him, driving him forward into the man he’s kissing. Wash moans into his mouth before pulling away and letting his head fall back with a thump, showing off his collar. York’s fingers automatically find purchase there, hooking underneath it and pulling the freckled man’s lips up to his as his hips snap forward hard before pushing back against North’s. Wrapping an arm around the tanned man’s waist, he increases his pace thrusting hard as he adjusts his angle and York’s position until both his lovers are crying out in the way that makes his stomach clench with his building orgasm. Wash beats him to it, coming hard over his own chest and York’s hand when the man finally touches him, stroking him a half dozen times. His spasming muscles cause a chain reaction and York and North finish in quick succession, York actually blacking out when he hits his prostate the last time. Wash comments on it quietly. “Oops. I guess Cowboys don’t have nearly as much stamina as horses do… We fucked him into unconsciousness.”

North snorts, pulling out gently before tugging York carefully away from Wash. His lover’s softening cock slips out easily, and he settles the passed out man into the bed. Reaching over to the bedside table, Wash pulls out some wet wipes, offering him a few before carefully cleaning York up. Once the brunette is clean, the other blonde focuses on himself. “I’m sure that isn’t what he meant when he said I should clean the two of you up after. But I don’t think any of us have the energy for that. Although, hopefully you have enough energy to help me out of this dress… it’s a bitch to undo.”

“Yeah, no problem. Dresses are always a pain to get out of.” North chuckles to himself before reaching over to unlace Wash. He watches as his smaller lover shimmies out of the dress before peeling off the stockings and crawling back into bed. “Do you think we should undress him?”

“Yeah, probably. You do it. I’m tired and I’m no longer dressed as the maid. I’ve done enough cleaning up after him for today.” Wash yawns, nestling into his spot between York and the wall. “Love you North. Happy Halloween.”

North looks up from undoing the buckles on York’s chaps, offering Wash a soft smile. “Love you too, Wash. Happy Halloween.”


End file.
